


The Epic Tale of Steve's Elderly Neighbour

by Dorkangel



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), X-Men (Movies), X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Background Relationships, Cherik - Freeform, Edie Lehnsherr is the biggest badass and best mother ever, Fluff and Crack, Gen, M/M, Steve Feels, Steve being Steve, Well Steve is still Cap, erik feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 19:36:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2823635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dorkangel/pseuds/Dorkangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shortly after being woken up from the ice, Steve moved into an standard apartment with pretty normal neighbours.<br/>One of those neighbours being the absolutely ridiculous, incredible Edie Lehnsherr, whose son occasionally visits.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Epic Tale of Steve's Elderly Neighbour

The Epic Tale of Steve's Elderly Neighbour

The first time he met Edie Lehnsherr, Steve had only been living in his apartment for a day and he was still getting used to it. And, naturally, being Steve, he offered to carry her bags up the stairs.  
She laughed at him and said he was a 'very sweet young man' and that 'I'm only seventy three though, it's quite alright'. She spoke with a soft German accent, and she never did manage to let Steve do anything for her. She might have been small - surely not an inch over five foot two - and frail-ish, but she was steely and determined.  
"You would be Captain Rogers, then?" she asked, intrigued, and he nodded.  
"Yes, ma'am. I think I'm about ninety four now."  
"Gott, that must be so confusing for you." She hugged him, the wiry strength in her arms almost surprising. "If you ever need a cup of tea, or anyone tries to assassinate you, feel free to come over. I only live across the hall from you." She snorted. "And my son always forgets to visit! I tell him to bring over my grandchildren, because he is an irresponsible boy and he has altogether too many of them, and he tells me 'No, call Ruth', because my daughter never calls me either, but he lives in New York too, so really he has no excuse." Breaking off into a string of angry Polish curses, she marched off into her own apartment, throwing a friendly wave to Steve over her shoulder.

The next time they met, Steve asked her about her husband, and her answering smile was sad.  
"Jakob died when we still lived in Germany, and Erik had moved to America, so I decided to be a busybody and follow him. Ruth came too, eventually. Taught myself the language, of course!" Annoyance flickered over her face. "I still can't drive, though. Apparently I'm a 'menace on the road'. Oh, Steve, be a dear and put this on the door?"  
She handed him a sign and toddled off to watch 'American Horror Story' which was definitely NOT going on his list. She must have had nerves of steel.  
The sign read 'Anyone I don't know, other than Girl Scouts, will get slapped by an angry old lady'.  
And then, underneath: 'And stop trying to convert me. I have been Jewish since 1949.'  
Steve chuckled and dutifully put it up on the door. Edie was far more friendly than she pretended, that was for sure.

After the battle of New York, he found home-baked cookies on his table, along with a note telling him not to worry, she just picked the lock, and it's lucky the Chiaturi didn't try to touch her, she would have smacked them with her shoe.

A few days later, he came home to a flustered, infuriated young man with an eight year old girl clinging to his left hand, a younger pair of twins wrapped around each leg and a baby in a pram, trying (with much difficulty) to knock. One of the twins, a little boy with silver hair, was chewing on his ankle while the other, a auburn-headed little girl, was snapping at her brother to stop, while the baby hiccuped quietly, like she'd just stopped crying, and the older blonde girl looked ready to murder someone, mimicking her father's expression.  
"Whoever's trying to kick the door down," yelled Edie angrily. "Can bloody well stop! Read the sign and go away!"  
The man sighed exhaustedly. "Mama, either you let me in or I walk down three flights of steps with these _nightmares_ again. And if you make me do that, Ich schwöre, ich werde sterben."  
"We're not nightmares!" protested the eldest girl, and he smiled tightly.  
"No, Anya honey, of course not. Mama!"  
Edie opened the door and gasped, outraged. "Erik! What on earth are you doing with yourself? When did you last eat, sleep? Come in, come in! Pietro, liebling, stop biting your daddy, he's had a hard day."  
The little boy, who looked about four, detached himself from Erik's leg and launched himself at Edie.  
"Gramma! Daddy gave us pizza and said if we came and visited you you'd give us sweeties- you will give us sweeties, right?"  
She smiled fondly. "No."  
"But-"  
"You're hyper enough already. Erik, handle the pram. I'll take the other three."  
They disappeared into her flat and Steve suppressed a smile and went into his own.

He waited until Erik had left, looking far better rested and fed and promising to visit more often and get Wanda and Pietro involved in kindergarten and introduce her to that nice boy with the blue eyes who babysits for him sometimes and tell his boss to fuck himself, to walk over and knock politely.  
"Come in, Steve!" she called brightly, somehow knowing it was him.  
"So," he said, sending her that million-dollar smile; the one that radiated Stars and Stripes and Wholesome American Values like his shit-eating one radiated Pure Trouble. "That was your son?"  
"Oh, he's a good boy." breezed Edie. "Not exactly sane, you know, but good enough."  
She was washing up, and turned around to gesture with a worryingly large, soapy knife. "But those _kids_ \- ha! The first three had the same mother, but she's gone and buggered off - and good riddance - and then little Lorna was an accident, bless her. Cute as a button. Do you know her hair is green?"  
Steve blinked. "Um, no. That's unusual."  
Edie 'hmmph'ed and turned back to the washing up, Steve drawing closer to help her.  
"And he's got a crush on his babysitter." she crooned gleefully. "I know it. The ridiculous man thinks he needs to come out to me, but I _know_. Ooh, I need to meet this 'Charles' person, he sounds charming!" She sent him a hairy eyeball as he picked up a plate next to her and started washing. "You haven't got 'forties opinions on gays, do you?"  
"No, ma'am. My mother would've killed me if I didn't accept and stand up for everyone."  
"I think I would have liked her, then. Here, hand me that plate." Edie barked a sharp laugh. "Look at me! An ageing Polish/German Jewish immigrant bossing Captain America around- Ha! My husband is probably laughing his arse off, up there."  
Steve couldn't help but smile, and dutifully continued to obey the orders she continued to give.

The next time he saw Edie, she was watching her son and a young man with floppy brown hair and incredibly blue eyes leave her apartment, hand in hand.  
"I told you." she muttered, pulling a cigarette out of one pocket and a lighter out of the other. "I knew it."  
Standing there with a cigarette sticking out of one corner of her mouth, in a maroon wooly cardigan and matching slippers, as well as the most typical 'old lady' floral print dress humanly possible, her greying brown hair in roller-curls and her eyes twinkling gleefully, Edie Lehnsherr cut the most formidable figure that Steve had ever seen.  
"I can hear you thinking from here, you know." she called, smiling. "What are you thinking about?"  
"I was thinking you'd give the Avengers a run for their money, Mrs. Lehnsherr."  
Edie snorted. "Yes, I would. And I've seen that Tony of yours on YouTube- you should tell him to stop letting people video him while he's drunk and naked, you know. There's at least a hundred up there."  
And with that, she shuffled inside and caught the door with the back of her foot, slamming it.  
Steve silently resolved to bake her some cookies, as soon as he had the chance.


End file.
